WORKING IN GROUPS
There are several factors that influence the quality of group work.
a. Informational resources: The better informed members are about the problem they are required to solve the better they are to reach a high quality decision.
b. Quality of Group Efforts: Group members should be careful in checking and rechecking information in other to help them make good decisions. Sloppily done work usually leads to poor decisions and negative consequences.
c. Quality of Thinking: Members need to arrive at appropriate conclusion through carefully thought out decisions based on the available materials and information.
d. Decision Logic: To reach the best decision, members should carefully consider the positive and negative qualities of all available choices and then selecting alternatives that offers the most positive and least negative attributes.
Problem solving procedures:
1. Ineffective problem Solving: This method uses decision making processes that fail to consider information or that thwarts the group process.
a. Autocratic decision making: Here the group leader decides which solution is best and then announces this decision to the group. Members have no option than to go along with the group leaders decision.
b. Minority decision making: Similar to the autocratic decisions, however here, the decision is made by a small number of group members.
c. rushing to judgement: In this situation, the group takes decision without proper investigation and discussions. Group may make this decision because of limited time and fatigue.
d. Mob rule. This is the worst method of group decision making. it is a rush to judgement couple with strong emotions. Usually these decisions create more problems than they solve.
Effective or rational model of problem solving
a. Define the problem
b. Investigate the problem
c. Set criteria for a solution
d. formulate possible solutions
e. Select the best alternatives
f. Put the chosen solution into Effect
g. Decide what happens to the group.
Group Leadership
A leader is somebody who guides and directs others. A leader influences the behavior of others. A leader is that person who is strong willed, forceful and drives the group towards its goal.
An effective group leader is one who is capable of using a number of leadership styles and adopts a style best suited to the needs of the group at any given moment.
Traits of leadership:
1. Vision: Ability to see where the group should go.
2. Direction: Ability to help the group to remain focused to their goals.
3. Mediation: Ability to mediate and balance in group and out group relationship.
CREATION OF LEADERS
Leaders are often assigned to post by rank, election or authority. Military groups have officers, committees have chairs appointed by officials, a board elects one of its own as president.
Generally, leaders are created in the following ways.
a. Appointed Leaders: This is a leader appointed by members of the group
b. Emergent leaders: This is a leader that comes to the fore from the body of the group.
Leadership responsibilities.
1. Group Leaders should be prepared: See to the accomplishment of their tasks and those of the group. Involve in Research, Homework, and devote time to think about the group and its work.
2. Group Leaders need to be sensitive to group needs: They need to know when to encourage or discourage discussions, they need to balance the tensions between task activities and relational activities, maintain groups focus, and motivate the group at all times.
LEADERSHIP STYLES
1. Authoritarian: This is a structured, centralized style where leaders exercise tight control over group’s activities. This style is used when time is limited, group members are disoriented, and members trust the leader and when group leaders have the power to enforce decisions. Examples of roles that involve authoritarian leadership styles are, military, quasi military, teachers of small children, tour guides and crew chiefs.
2. Democratic: This style involves the leader making consultation with the group and after hearing its views, makes a decision. A democratic leader is not one who submits every issues to a vote of the group but rather is one who allows the group to express opinions about the problems to be solved. Final responsibility for the decision, however rests on with the leader.
3. Consensus Seeking: In this mode, the group leader is regarded as “first among equals” than possessing more power and rank than others. A consensus seeking leader is one who functions as a discussion leader and mediator, and summarizer. The leader elicits opinions from the group, tries to help discover a common ground for the individual concerns of members, and then makes sure all understand to what they have agreed. A consensus seeking style works best when members are informed, willing to interact, and flexible enough to make concessions in order to reach and agreement.
4. Laissez-faire: The last style of leadership is known as laissez-faire. this style is translated as “ Let the people do as they please”. The leader does little or nothing to influence the group’s decisions and actions. The Laissez faire leader is one who sits back and let’s happens what happens. While this may seem a road to disaster, laissez faire is often the best approach when group members are highly motivated, capable and self motivated. When all are doing what they are supposed to be doing, the best policy is to leave them alone to do their work.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Lesson 10: Conversational Skills
- Conversation
Conversation is the informal exchange of opinions and information for pleasure. It is often regarded as casual or small talk between two or more people.
Conversation is important in any form of relationship. Conversation is not only making small talk, it involves a number of pleasant and intelligent skills.
We need to know how to open conversation, keep it going and bring it to a close.
Our conversational style may indicate our thoughts, feelings and also provide cues to how our remarks are to be interpreted.
Conversational Skills
Conversational skills require the ability to initiate, maintain and close a conversation.
- Initiating Conversation: Opening a conversation, getting the other person to talk is not always easy. In opening conversation, it is helpful to remember the purpose of the opener. The purpose of conversational opener is (1) to recognize the other party and (2) to say something that will prompt an appropriate response.
The subject matter of a conversational opener is oftentimes of little importance. We have three basic options,
(i) Themselves e.g, Hi My name is .............. I am a student of HRU
(ii) The other person e.g Thats a nice shirt you are have on, where did you get it?
(iii) The situation e.g The weather today is quite hot, isn’t it?
The three can be combined e.g what do you think I should do about the Intercultural Communication paper we have to write next week.
Another helpful conversational opener is the subject matter of the opener. We can state a fact, give an opinion or express a feeling.
(i) Themselves – facts e.g I’m from .....................
(ii) The other person – opinions e.g I really like the color of your jacket
(iii) The situation – feelings e.g How do you feel about being in a class this big.
Failure to start a conversation does not necessarily mean that we are poor conversationalist. Some people are less responsive than others while some may be unavailable to talk because of the press of demand. If a conversational opener is unsuccessful, then we should try another approach or try another person. No matter how tempting the bait is not every cast catches a fish.
- Maintaining Conversation
After initiating conversation, there will be a transition where by the talk is shifted to a topic or topics which will allow the conversation to continue. We may also decide to break off the conversation and move to a conclusion. If we desire to prolong the conversation, we can do so in several ways.
- Be more knowledgeable and interesting:- we communicate from our experiences, if we limit our experience , we limit our potential areas of discussion. Knowledge comes from general reading or specific studies. Being informed about current events, international, national and local can easily provide materials for talk.
- Pay attention to the stories we hear. We need to know how to recount events in a way that engages the attention of others. Stories may be jokes but they do not have to be. Some stories are sobering, others are scary. People enjoy hearing a well-told story even if it is only a minute or two in length.
- Make appropriate responses to what is being said: Unwarranted conclusions can bring a conversation to an abrupt end.
- Be sensitive to the feelings expressed by our conversational partners: When we are sympathetic to what the other person is expressing, our conversation is more likely to be successful.
- Making Self-disclosure:- revealing appropriate information about ourselves helps to build relationship. When one person reveals personal information, the other party will respond in kind.
- Directing Conversation into new areas:- when we reach the limit of a topic, we introduce a second one much in the same way we opened a conversation initially. For example you can switch from talking about the football team to basketball team if the two people engaged in the conversation are interested in sports.
- Practice question linking. This involves linking the response of your conversational partner in the form of a question.
- Use non verbal Cues. Maintaining interpersonal distance shows a person is interested in continuing the exchange. Leaning forward, nodding, eye contacts and facial moods can help to indicate when a person wishes to continue the conversation or ends.
- CLOSING CONVERSATION
Conversation will eventually reach an ending point no matter how short or long it may be. Sometimes both partners may stop talking and walk away. This type of ending is unsatisfactory.
There are several ways we can end conversation. Here is a list of closing techniques.
a. Recognize the conversation is one way. For example, we can end a conversation by saying “Its been nice talking to you”, “I am glad things worked out for you”, You’ve had some interesting experience”
b. Present a pressing claim. Here you can disclose another committment or interest that should be met. E.g Well, I need to go home, or I have to to go back to the office now or please excuse me I have another appointment.
c. Finish with a farewell:- Goodbye, See you later, Thanks for everything, talk to you again soon, take care etc.
d. Shift position away from the partner
e. Breaking Eye contact
f. Leave taking behaviours. for example, pack your belongings Put on your coat, take out your car keys.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
LESSON 9: Interpersonal Communication Skills
Interpersonal Communication Skills
Developing interpersonal communication skills is vitally important in today’s workplace. Even though you are an individual contributor in the workplace, you still need to communicate effectively with your boss as well as customers. Almost all kinds of work require communicating with people. Most people have colleagues with whom they need to communicate in order to be successful at their job.
When we communicate, we don't actually swap ideas, we swap symbols that stand for ideas. Words are just symbols that do not have inherent meaning; we simply use them in certain ways to convey an idea or give it a meaning, and no two people use the same word in the same sense at all instances.
The symbols attached to these words are a function of who we are, our social upbringing and culture, which will pretty much vary quite widely in today's work environment.
Our personal communication skills would be largely dependant on our cultural background and unique histories. As a result, there is a real possibility that when two of us get together there are chances that we are less effective at communicating with each other than we would like.
Interpersonal communication requires Good listening Skills and Conversational Skills.
1. LISTENING SKILLS
During Interpersonal Communication, we need to think about what to do not only as senders, but also as receivers. Before we can respond appropriately to others, we need to understand the sender, the message and our possible response. To do this, we need good listening skills.
Listening refers to paying thoughtful attention to the verbal and non-verbal cues of others.
There are two things involved in listening.
1. Listening for Ideas: We need to try to gather facts or follow a line of logical thinking. Listening for ideas is the kind of listening that focuses on the main point, for example students do as part of the learning process, the kind of listening a patient does when the doctor explains ailment and medications. The main goal of listening is comprehension and retention of information.
Factors that affect listening.
1. Lack of concentration
2. Noise
3. Trying to take a message word for word
Factors that aids good listening and to retain information.
1. Link new knowledge with old knowledge.
2. Pay attention to main points
3. Tying ideas together, e.g connect the word to an image
4. Ask for a repetition of an idea or ask for clarification.
5. Don’t be too hasty to respond.
6. Take notes for reference
Listening for Feelings
Good listening is also attentive to feelings. It is important to recognize what the other person is going through from their utterance. Here comprehension of details is not so important. To respond effectively, one must pay close attention to both the words and the non verbal cues. For example a smile can contradict a seemingly serious statement. Eye blinking, hand movement may signal the true emotional of the speaker.
Listening for facts or ideas and feelings provides us with basis for interacting with people. Good listening skills enhance communication in a variety of ways, in conversation, in comforting, and in conflict resolution.
CLICK HERE FOR LESSON 8
Developing interpersonal communication skills is vitally important in today’s workplace. Even though you are an individual contributor in the workplace, you still need to communicate effectively with your boss as well as customers. Almost all kinds of work require communicating with people. Most people have colleagues with whom they need to communicate in order to be successful at their job.
When we communicate, we don't actually swap ideas, we swap symbols that stand for ideas. Words are just symbols that do not have inherent meaning; we simply use them in certain ways to convey an idea or give it a meaning, and no two people use the same word in the same sense at all instances.
The symbols attached to these words are a function of who we are, our social upbringing and culture, which will pretty much vary quite widely in today's work environment.
Our personal communication skills would be largely dependant on our cultural background and unique histories. As a result, there is a real possibility that when two of us get together there are chances that we are less effective at communicating with each other than we would like.
Interpersonal communication requires Good listening Skills and Conversational Skills.
1. LISTENING SKILLS
During Interpersonal Communication, we need to think about what to do not only as senders, but also as receivers. Before we can respond appropriately to others, we need to understand the sender, the message and our possible response. To do this, we need good listening skills.
Listening refers to paying thoughtful attention to the verbal and non-verbal cues of others.
There are two things involved in listening.
1. Listening for Ideas: We need to try to gather facts or follow a line of logical thinking. Listening for ideas is the kind of listening that focuses on the main point, for example students do as part of the learning process, the kind of listening a patient does when the doctor explains ailment and medications. The main goal of listening is comprehension and retention of information.
Factors that affect listening.
1. Lack of concentration
2. Noise
3. Trying to take a message word for word
Factors that aids good listening and to retain information.
1. Link new knowledge with old knowledge.
2. Pay attention to main points
3. Tying ideas together, e.g connect the word to an image
4. Ask for a repetition of an idea or ask for clarification.
5. Don’t be too hasty to respond.
6. Take notes for reference
Listening for Feelings
Good listening is also attentive to feelings. It is important to recognize what the other person is going through from their utterance. Here comprehension of details is not so important. To respond effectively, one must pay close attention to both the words and the non verbal cues. For example a smile can contradict a seemingly serious statement. Eye blinking, hand movement may signal the true emotional of the speaker.
Listening for facts or ideas and feelings provides us with basis for interacting with people. Good listening skills enhance communication in a variety of ways, in conversation, in comforting, and in conflict resolution.
CLICK HERE FOR LESSON 8
LESSON 8: Communicating with others one to one.
Communicating with others one to one.
Interpersonal communication is sending and receiving of messages between parties, usually in close visual and aural proximity which allows for immediate feedback and close attention to verbal and nonverbal cues.
In simple terms, Interpersonal communication is sending and receiving of messages between a small number of people who can see and hear each other with immediate feedback.
Interpersonal communication is different from Public Communication because of the number of people and the proximity involved.
Number of People
Interpersonal Communication involves a small number of participants. It is often referred to as Dyadic communication, when two people are involved, e.g husband and wife, or two friends. When three people are involved in Communication it is known as Triadic communication for example a couple talking to a real estate agent about a house they want to rent.
When the number of people becomes enlarge beyond three it is referred to as small group.
Proximity.
Proximity is an important element of interpersonal communication. The communication is usually unmediated unlike in mass communication whereby something comes between the sender and the final receiver of the message. Interpersonal communication is often face to face communication, for example a teacher and student talking at the teacher’s desk, a patient seeing the doctor to discuss symptoms of illness.
Features of Interpersonal Communication
- Use of less formal language:- The small number of people and proximity affects the nature of language used in interpersonal communication. We usually use language that is less formal than that of writing or public speaking.
- The proximity of interpersonal communication allows for verbal and non verbal cues. Through a series of small movement and gestures, we can know when a conversation needs to continue or end.
- Close proximity also allows for physical contact which is expected. For example a business interview almost universally opens with a handshake, children may want to be held while their comforts them.
- Interpersonal Communication requires immediate feedback since both parties can see and hear each other. Feedback is a very essential element of interpersonal communication. A phone conversation is a form of interpersonal communication, but while it involves a small number of close aural proximity, it eliminates all non verbal cues with the exception of paralinguistic.
LESSON 7: The Ethics in Communication
The Ethics in Communication.
Communication is one of the most basic human activities, a process by which we engage ourselves with others for understanding, for cooperation and the accomplishment of variety of goals.
However complex or simple our interactions are, we interfere on each other in multiple ways. We influence each other through communication and recognize that communication is not a neutral activity. We influence each other in positive and negative ways, for good and for bad.
When Communicating, we do not simply choose words, we choose words for the effect they will have on our audiences, on ourselves, and ultimately, on society. Thus when we communicate, we cannot escape ethical questions, questions which ask how helpful or harmful our actions are.
An awareness of the ethical dimensions of communication provides us with a deeper understanding or ourselves and of our potentials as human beings.
THE NATURE OF ETHICS
Ethics refers to the study of morality's effect on conduct: the study of moral standards and how they affect conduct.
It refers to the code of morality: a system of moral principles governing the appropriate conduct for a person or group.
Ethics is the study of what, is the best course of action, the right or wrong of our actions and policies, be those actions communicative, political, social, personal or a mixture of areas.
ETHICS AS AN INTEGRAL PART OF COMMUNICATION
Ethical questions are often related to politics. This is because administrators are often faced with questions of truthfulness. When we turn to non political questions, we sometimes think that ethics only focus on issues such as wars or capital punishment. These are certainly significant matters, but the major ethical issues are matters of how to behave in our daily lives and in our relationships with those with whom we have personal contact at home, at school or at work.
Because communication is relational, it brings us face to face with questions that contain ethical judgments. We must decide what is the purpose or purposes of a relationship in which we find ourselves. We must decide how to behave. We must choose how to respond in that situation. Our responses will be based on how we regard the other party or parties and what the consequences of our actions will be. All of these are basic ethical questions in that they involve our deciding what is the “best” course of action.
Ethical Communication is therefore important because.
a. It helps to determine how to behave in our daily lives.
b. it helps to shape our relationship with others
c. it helps to determine the purpose of the relationship we find ourselves.
d. it helps us to consider the consequence of our actions.
e. It helps us to decide the best course of action.
GUIDELINES FOR ETHICAL COMMUNICATION
To make the best decision in our communication, and to communicate ethically, we must give thought to the manner in which we communicate. Rules are applied to different communication situations in which we find ourselves. These situations are vast and varying and the following guidelines can help to make ethical communications.
1. Be respectful to your audience
2. Consider the consequence of your communication
3. Respect the truth
4. Use Information Properly ( Adequate and Accurate)
5. Don’t falsify Information
6. Respect the rights of others to information.
Communication is one of the most basic human activities, a process by which we engage ourselves with others for understanding, for cooperation and the accomplishment of variety of goals.
However complex or simple our interactions are, we interfere on each other in multiple ways. We influence each other through communication and recognize that communication is not a neutral activity. We influence each other in positive and negative ways, for good and for bad.
When Communicating, we do not simply choose words, we choose words for the effect they will have on our audiences, on ourselves, and ultimately, on society. Thus when we communicate, we cannot escape ethical questions, questions which ask how helpful or harmful our actions are.
An awareness of the ethical dimensions of communication provides us with a deeper understanding or ourselves and of our potentials as human beings.
THE NATURE OF ETHICS
Ethics refers to the study of morality's effect on conduct: the study of moral standards and how they affect conduct.
It refers to the code of morality: a system of moral principles governing the appropriate conduct for a person or group.
Ethics is the study of what, is the best course of action, the right or wrong of our actions and policies, be those actions communicative, political, social, personal or a mixture of areas.
ETHICS AS AN INTEGRAL PART OF COMMUNICATION
Ethical questions are often related to politics. This is because administrators are often faced with questions of truthfulness. When we turn to non political questions, we sometimes think that ethics only focus on issues such as wars or capital punishment. These are certainly significant matters, but the major ethical issues are matters of how to behave in our daily lives and in our relationships with those with whom we have personal contact at home, at school or at work.
Because communication is relational, it brings us face to face with questions that contain ethical judgments. We must decide what is the purpose or purposes of a relationship in which we find ourselves. We must decide how to behave. We must choose how to respond in that situation. Our responses will be based on how we regard the other party or parties and what the consequences of our actions will be. All of these are basic ethical questions in that they involve our deciding what is the “best” course of action.
Ethical Communication is therefore important because.
a. It helps to determine how to behave in our daily lives.
b. it helps to shape our relationship with others
c. it helps to determine the purpose of the relationship we find ourselves.
d. it helps us to consider the consequence of our actions.
e. It helps us to decide the best course of action.
GUIDELINES FOR ETHICAL COMMUNICATION
To make the best decision in our communication, and to communicate ethically, we must give thought to the manner in which we communicate. Rules are applied to different communication situations in which we find ourselves. These situations are vast and varying and the following guidelines can help to make ethical communications.
1. Be respectful to your audience
2. Consider the consequence of your communication
3. Respect the truth
4. Use Information Properly ( Adequate and Accurate)
5. Don’t falsify Information
6. Respect the rights of others to information.
Friday, September 4, 2009
LESSON 6: VERBAL AND NON VERBAL COMMUNICATION
VERBAL AND NON VERBAL COMMUNICATION
The most common and general way of classifying communication is to see it as verbal or non verbal.
1. Non-Verbal Communication: This involves the use of non-words to communicate. There are three types of Non-Verbal communication.
a. Body Language: e.g Facial Expression, gestures, postures, clothing, artifacts e.t.c)
b. Paralanguage e.g hisses, whistling
c. Distance. e.g
2. Verbal Communication: This involves the use of words or language symbols which are
assumed to have common meanings to all the participants in the communication process.
The use of language in communication becomes very important in so far as it is unique to human beings.
COMMUNICATION WITH SPACE.
Distance and Communication: The space we inhabit may also be used in communication likewise the distance maintained by people in different situations carry meanings as does the behaviour.
When people are in close contact, they see each other's entire body so relationship and communication are formal. This is called public distance which is 12 feet and beyond.
Social Distance occurs when people are from four feet to twelve feet. This distance is used for business and more formal personal interactions.
The third category is known as Personal Distance. This ranges between eighteen inches to four feet. Here people maintain personal relationships which may range from close to cool. When people enter this range, they begin to approach each other on personal terms.
The Fourth Category is referred to as Intimate Distance. Here we feel as though the other person is contacting us physically even though the person may not be touching us. It ranges from zero to eighteen inches.
Note that within intimate distance, people may experience flight to flight response. This means they respond to hostility, fight or move away flight. Another option is to embrase, hug, kiss, dance e.t.c Intimate distance is so close that people have difficulty allowing people to exist within that space without relating to them.
The most common and general way of classifying communication is to see it as verbal or non verbal.
1. Non-Verbal Communication: This involves the use of non-words to communicate. There are three types of Non-Verbal communication.
a. Body Language: e.g Facial Expression, gestures, postures, clothing, artifacts e.t.c)
b. Paralanguage e.g hisses, whistling
c. Distance. e.g
2. Verbal Communication: This involves the use of words or language symbols which are
assumed to have common meanings to all the participants in the communication process.
The use of language in communication becomes very important in so far as it is unique to human beings.
COMMUNICATION WITH SPACE.
Distance and Communication: The space we inhabit may also be used in communication likewise the distance maintained by people in different situations carry meanings as does the behaviour.
When people are in close contact, they see each other's entire body so relationship and communication are formal. This is called public distance which is 12 feet and beyond.
Social Distance occurs when people are from four feet to twelve feet. This distance is used for business and more formal personal interactions.
The third category is known as Personal Distance. This ranges between eighteen inches to four feet. Here people maintain personal relationships which may range from close to cool. When people enter this range, they begin to approach each other on personal terms.
The Fourth Category is referred to as Intimate Distance. Here we feel as though the other person is contacting us physically even though the person may not be touching us. It ranges from zero to eighteen inches.
Note that within intimate distance, people may experience flight to flight response. This means they respond to hostility, fight or move away flight. Another option is to embrase, hug, kiss, dance e.t.c Intimate distance is so close that people have difficulty allowing people to exist within that space without relating to them.
Friday, August 21, 2009
LESSON 5: UNDERSTANDING LANGUAGE
RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN LANGUAGE AND THOUGHT.
The relationship between language and thought is not very clear. It is sometimes argued that Language comes before thought and for some people thoughts come before language.
Language can be said to come before thought because thinking cannot occur without a language. On the other hand, thought can be said to come before language because if people don't think, they will never have a language to think about. All in all, it is generally believed that language facilitates thought. In other words, languages help people to think and without language people wouldn't think and so language and thought are interrelated.
MEANING OF LANGUAGE
Language is very important in human communication. According to Longman dictionary of contemporary English, language is " the system of human expression by means of words".
Gimson ( 1980) defines language as a system of conventional signals used for communication by a whole community.
Language can simply be defined as the human use of spoken or written words as a communication system.
USE OF LANGUAGE
1. language is used by human beings to communicate ideas, facts, feelings, beliefs and predisposition among themselves
2. Language helps people to understand each other.
3. Language is used to transfer knowledge
LANGUAGE SKILLS
There are four language skills needed in communication.
a. Speaking
b. Writing
These two skills are referred to as Expressive or productive language skills
c. Listening
d. Reading
These two skills are referred to as receptive language skills
It is important to note that in the process of communication, the expressive skills takes precedence over the receptive skills. This is because, the speaker or writer starts the communication. The listener or reader will definitely have nothing to listen or read if the speaker or writer has not transmitted any message.
CHARACTERISTICS OF LANGUAGE
1. It employs the vocal-auditory channel for which the human anatomy and physiology seem most specialized
2. It is passed from one person to another by learning and its stability is ensured through correction from parents, teachers, peers etc.
3. It is not limited to mere self expression; rather its regular use tends to produce effects on behaviour.
4. It consists of rules of reference which speakers agree upon.
5. There is relationship between content and means of expression
6. Language is organized hierarchically by combining words into syntactic structures or sentences, paragraphs, longer passages, etc.
7. It is creative
FUNCTIONS OF LANGUAGE
1. Language is a means of understanding reality and passing understanding others
2. Language is used for commerce
3. Language is a tool for governance and administration
4. Language is used for cultural promotion and social control
5. Language is used for religious purposes
6. Language is used to promote International cooperation and friendship
Thursday, August 20, 2009
LESSON 4: NATURE OF COMMUNICATION
NATURE OF COMMUNICATION
Communication by its nature implies connection with other human beings. Through communication, we are taught the nature of the world and through communication we, in turn, give shape to our worlds. To understand how we go about creating the process of communication, several important aspects need to be understood.
- CULTURE:
Culture is important in communication. Culture refers to the way people do things, the value people hold and the norms they follow. As we live and grow, we pick up culture from our environment. The learning process is both conscious and subconscious which much of it not obvious thus we absorb our cultural norms rather than learn them.
We function within local, regional and national culture. We also participate in local cultures and subcultures. Even in a small town, one can find a mixture of cultures as people divide along social lines, religious lines, professional lines and economic lines.
The same way we grow accustomed to ways of living we grow accustomed to ways of communicating. We learn the norms of the societies. We learn how to function within the framework of complicated rules by being part of a culture. We learn how we are to address our parents, siblings, our elders, coworkers, superiors and so on. We learn how to behave in a variety of situations such as games, meetings, religious services, funeral, weddings, classes, dates and family gatherings.
The main point about our culture is that our lives and our communication grow out of an entire set of values, beliefs and behaviour we have learned. To communicate clearly about those beliefs, or any other topic, we must be aware as possible of our own culture and how it has shaped us, and we must be aware of the culture and assumptions of the people with whom we communicate.
- LANGUAGE: OUR LINGUISTIC HERITAGE
Language is the basic way we communicate. We grow into our culture by observing and imitating those around us. We grow into language in much the same process, acquiring language skills by imitation, trial and error. For us to learn how to speak, we need contact with other language users. Human beings are born with the ability to make sounds and make them in reaction to their circumstances. For example, cries indicate discomfort, coos indicate comfort and then we move beyond sounds as a reaction to the present situation.
- LANGUAGE IS A SYMBOL SYSTEM
Human beings according to the great philosopher, Kenneth Burke are the “symbol using animals”
A symbol is something that stands for something else by association or connotation. for example, the cross is a religions symbol, schools have mascots, jewelry serves symbolic purposes when people wear wedding rings, or class rings
In language, symbols take other forms. For example, sounds constitute the primary form of the symbols. Language begins with the association of sounds with object or concepts. Combinations of sounds come to stand for the object or idea to be discussed. Instead of referring to a flower we can say rose, or we can say Ocean to refer to a body of water.
From the association of sounds with objects and ideas, the next step if to link the object to a marking system, the alphabet.
Writing emerges and changes the shape of communication. The invention of the alphabets makes possible the creation of messages that can exist outside the direct presence of their creators. Messages are no longer passed orally from one person to the nest, they message can be set down and left for others to discover.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Lesson 3: Areas of Communication Study
Areas of Communication Study:
The following are some of the areas of communication study.
1. Public Communication:
This is also known as Public Speaking which refers to a situation where an individual addresses an audience.
Examples of public speaking are political speakers, speakers at service organizations,
convocations, lectures, religious services and dedication ceremonies.
Public speaking requires the use of rhetoric (persuasive speech or writing skills)
Public speaking is an integral part of human lives which involves most profession, technical or artistic, demand making presentations to audiences.
2. Interpersonal Communication: This is the type of communication people make individually or in small groups.
Examples of Interpersonal communication are, talking with a friend, attending a job interview, arguing with a roommate, negotiating with sales personnel.
Interpersonal communication study helps us to understand how to respond in different settings such as between friends, married couples, superiors and subordinates as well as between parents and children. Interpersonal communication also helps us to know patterns of communication and how to deal within groups such as business or organizations.
3. Organizational communication:
This centers on the process of sending, receiving and interpreting messages within and between organizations.
To achieve the goals of organizations, members perform different tasks which are linked to the activities other members of the organization. Organizations are formed and maintained through communication.
the activities of organization continues even when particular individuals leave or retire from a company.
Studies in Organizational communication focuses on the modes and channels of communication, interaction between and superior and subordinates, and formal and informal relationships among organizational members.
Organization require constant adjustments of people, resources and goals. Thus mediation and conflict management are a large part of the study of organizational communication.
4. Mass Communication:
For a communication to be considered mass communication, it must involve a large number of people and also it is a mediated communication. A large audience or small group with which are dispersed and it is mediated because something comes between the sender and the final receiver. That something can be both mechanical or human. Mass communication distances the senders and receivers.
5. Public Affairs and Issue Management.
This field of study is related to public relation. however while public relations is concerned mainly with running campaigns and writing press release, Public affairs and issue management is is an out grown of the study of rhetoric.
Public affairs and issue Management investigates how organizations are affected by the communicative environment.
Most public affairs and issue management are in connection with crises of various kinds. One aspect of issue management involves planning ahead to help shape public opinions in the direction desired by the organization.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Assignment 2
Assignment 2
Read pages 20-21 and answer the following questions.
1. Why is communication a process?
2. Describe Briefly how messages can be passed between the parties involved in a
communication process.
3. Why is interpretation Necessary in the communication process?
Submit by email to interculture304@yahoo.com
Make sure you write your name and class for easy identification
Thanks
Dr. KEN
Read pages 20-21 and answer the following questions.
1. Why is communication a process?
2. Describe Briefly how messages can be passed between the parties involved in a
communication process.
3. Why is interpretation Necessary in the communication process?
Submit by email to interculture304@yahoo.com
Make sure you write your name and class for easy identification
Thanks
Dr. KEN
Thursday, July 30, 2009
LESSON 2 THE STUDY OF COMMUNICATION
Communication as Human Activity
INFORMAL : This is the type of communication usually used with family and friends, contains shortened version of words, contains slang
Training in informal communication need not take place in class, we learn from imitation, trial and error.
Informal communication would be like having an online chatting or just having a conversation with a friend.
FORMAL : This is the type of communication is used in professional setting with proper conversation, no slang, manners are often used
Training in Formal communication takes place in school or structured classes. Instead of learning through imitation, learning takes place through examination of the nature of communication, interpersonal, small groups, and public speaking.
Formal Communication would be writing a business or other letter within the guidelines of that genre. Such as a cover letter for a resume', or a thank you letter or note for a present received.
It depends on what you are talking about. Formal in English is like hello and informal is hey. You would say hello if you were meeting someone important and hey if you were meeting a friend or family. In different languages it is different. Another example, yes and yeah
Communication is an integral part of life.
Communication begets more communication. When we receive story, we respond to it and then recount the tale to someone else.
We may think about the story to decide its application to our situation.
Also when we hear one story, we may feel motivated to tell our own story.
The study of communication is an integral part of life because people are able to read, understand and comment an idea is an example of our ability to learn language, to identify symbols and to respond to others.
Canterbury
Communication as Human Activity:
1. To create and sustain all our endeavors e.g arts, play, aggressions, relationships
2. Communication demands our attention
3. It is the study of human activity
4. It provides us with insight and skills (ability to solve problems)
5. Communication helps us to develop transferable knowledge
6. Communication helps us to develop critical thinking skills, language skills and people skills
Click Here for Lesson 1
Click Here for Lesson 3
INFORMAL : This is the type of communication usually used with family and friends, contains shortened version of words, contains slang
Training in informal communication need not take place in class, we learn from imitation, trial and error.
Informal communication would be like having an online chatting or just having a conversation with a friend.
FORMAL : This is the type of communication is used in professional setting with proper conversation, no slang, manners are often used
Training in Formal communication takes place in school or structured classes. Instead of learning through imitation, learning takes place through examination of the nature of communication, interpersonal, small groups, and public speaking.
Formal Communication would be writing a business or other letter within the guidelines of that genre. Such as a cover letter for a resume', or a thank you letter or note for a present received.
It depends on what you are talking about. Formal in English is like hello and informal is hey. You would say hello if you were meeting someone important and hey if you were meeting a friend or family. In different languages it is different. Another example, yes and yeah
Communication is an integral part of life.
Communication begets more communication. When we receive story, we respond to it and then recount the tale to someone else.
We may think about the story to decide its application to our situation.
Also when we hear one story, we may feel motivated to tell our own story.
The study of communication is an integral part of life because people are able to read, understand and comment an idea is an example of our ability to learn language, to identify symbols and to respond to others.
Communication as Human Activity:
Two reasons which distinguish human communication from animal communication are
a. We possess not only the ability to send and receive messages
b. We possess the ability to create, analyze and change our own patterns of communication.
This is because Human beings can think and talk about the past, present and the future. We can think and talk about what we see and unseen and we can think and talk from our imagination.
Importance of Communication Study1. To create and sustain all our endeavors e.g arts, play, aggressions, relationships
2. Communication demands our attention
3. It is the study of human activity
4. It provides us with insight and skills (ability to solve problems)
5. Communication helps us to develop transferable knowledge
6. Communication helps us to develop critical thinking skills, language skills and people skills
Click Here for Lesson 1
Click Here for Lesson 3
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
LESSON 3: The Field of Communication
I. Understanding, Defining and Meaning of Communication:
Many communication experts have attempted to define Communication.
Communication is the process of sending and receiving ideas by means of verbal symbols.
In this sense communication is a process through which human beings interact.
Communication can also be defined as the entire process through which the sender and receiver exchange message in form of information, experience, ideas, facts, beliefs, and attitudes.
In other words, communication is the process of sending, receiving, and interpreting messages through which we relate to each other and to our larger world as well.
ELEMENTS OF COMMUNICATION
From the definition of Communication, we can see clearly that communication occurs when somebody says something to someone for a purpose.
There are several important elements of communication.
1. Sender (Source): this is the person from which the communication starts.
2. Message: This is the information or something the sender intends to send.
3. Receiver: This is the person who receives the information( message)
4. Stimulus: Something which propels communication. It is closely associated to the Source.
5. Medium: this refers to the form by which the source transfer his message to the receiver.
There are three media available to the source are oral, written and non verbal media.
Oral: when the source decides to speak out his mind
Written: when the source decides to put it in black and white
Non Verbal: the source decides to use gestures or body language.
6. The channel is another important element of communication. Channel is different from Medium. The medium is the form that the source used to put the message across while Channel is the actual conveyor of the message. For example, channel can be face to face, radio, television, telephone etc for oral communication, Letter, memorandum, report, newspaper, magazine etc for written communication while drawing, carvings, painting, sculpture etc for non Verbal Communication.
7. Feedback: This is the receiver's response to the sender's message. Without feedback, communication is incomplete. Feedback determines the success or failure of the communication between the sender and receiver.
8. Noise: This is also another element of communication because it can affect the success of communication. Noise refers to all distractions, which may obstruct any stage of the communication process.
There are three types of noise:
Physical noise: any natural of event which can be seen, heard or touched but has nothing to do with thought or mind. E.g radio, television sound or any impairment of hearing, vision or speech.
Psychological noise: this is traceable to the expression of mind and may include emotional outburst, poor mental attitude or fatigue
Linguistic noise: This concerns the inability to use or understand the language of communication effectively.
e.g Semantic noise: wrong choice of words, misinterpretation of words and unfamiliarity of words.
Grammatical noise: This may be as a result of syntax error or wrong use of grammar.
Phonological noise: This may occur as a result of poor pronunciation, poor intonation or poor stress.
9. Signal: This is the last element of communication. this refers to symbols and codes employed by those involved in communication. If the source understands the language of communication well, he will be able to encode the message perfectly. A thorough understanding of the language will also enable the receiver to decode the message accurately.
Many communication experts have attempted to define Communication.
Communication is the process of sending and receiving ideas by means of verbal symbols.
In this sense communication is a process through which human beings interact.
Communication can also be defined as the entire process through which the sender and receiver exchange message in form of information, experience, ideas, facts, beliefs, and attitudes.
In other words, communication is the process of sending, receiving, and interpreting messages through which we relate to each other and to our larger world as well.
ELEMENTS OF COMMUNICATION
From the definition of Communication, we can see clearly that communication occurs when somebody says something to someone for a purpose.
There are several important elements of communication.
1. Sender (Source): this is the person from which the communication starts.
2. Message: This is the information or something the sender intends to send.
3. Receiver: This is the person who receives the information( message)
4. Stimulus: Something which propels communication. It is closely associated to the Source.
5. Medium: this refers to the form by which the source transfer his message to the receiver.
There are three media available to the source are oral, written and non verbal media.
Oral: when the source decides to speak out his mind
Written: when the source decides to put it in black and white
Non Verbal: the source decides to use gestures or body language.
6. The channel is another important element of communication. Channel is different from Medium. The medium is the form that the source used to put the message across while Channel is the actual conveyor of the message. For example, channel can be face to face, radio, television, telephone etc for oral communication, Letter, memorandum, report, newspaper, magazine etc for written communication while drawing, carvings, painting, sculpture etc for non Verbal Communication.
7. Feedback: This is the receiver's response to the sender's message. Without feedback, communication is incomplete. Feedback determines the success or failure of the communication between the sender and receiver.
8. Noise: This is also another element of communication because it can affect the success of communication. Noise refers to all distractions, which may obstruct any stage of the communication process.
There are three types of noise:
Physical noise: any natural of event which can be seen, heard or touched but has nothing to do with thought or mind. E.g radio, television sound or any impairment of hearing, vision or speech.
Psychological noise: this is traceable to the expression of mind and may include emotional outburst, poor mental attitude or fatigue
Linguistic noise: This concerns the inability to use or understand the language of communication effectively.
e.g Semantic noise: wrong choice of words, misinterpretation of words and unfamiliarity of words.
Grammatical noise: This may be as a result of syntax error or wrong use of grammar.
Phonological noise: This may occur as a result of poor pronunciation, poor intonation or poor stress.
9. Signal: This is the last element of communication. this refers to symbols and codes employed by those involved in communication. If the source understands the language of communication well, he will be able to encode the message perfectly. A thorough understanding of the language will also enable the receiver to decode the message accurately.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Assignment 1
Read the exercise on course book pages 2-6.
Answer any one question on Page 6 and any other one question on Page 9
Submit your answers by email to interculture304@yahoo.com or interculture203@yahoo.com
Answer any one question on Page 6 and any other one question on Page 9
Submit your answers by email to interculture304@yahoo.com or interculture203@yahoo.com
Sunday, July 12, 2009
LESSON 1
INTRODUCTION TO INTERCULTURAL COMMUNICATION.
What is intercultural communication?
Intercultural communication refers to an academic field of study and research about how people from different countries and cultures behave, communicate and perceive the world around them.
Intercultural communication also includes other fields such as anthropology, cultural studies, psychology and communication.
Intercultural communication can also be defined as the interpersonal interaction between members of different groups, which differ from each other in respect of the knowledge shared by their members and in respect of their linguistic forms of symbolic behaviour.
The theories developed by the researchers and academics can and have been applied to many fields such as business, management, marketing, advertising and website design.
As business becomes more and more international, many companies need to know how best to structure their companies manage staff and communicate with customers. Intercultural communication gives them an insight into the areas they need to address or understand.
Intercultural communication theories are now also used within the education, health care and other public services due to growing multicultural populations.
WHY DO WE COMMUNICATE? WHAT HAPPENS IF WE DON'T COMMUNICATE?
Research has shown that when people are isolated and made to grow without contact with others, they will not develop to their fullest potentials. People who are isolated have capabilities less than those who are raised within the confines of civilization.
People who don’t communicate or interact with others will not be wise, rather they become stunted by the experience rather than enhanced by it.
People have always needed to communicate with each other for many reasons:
to spread news
to warn of dangers
to pass on information
to ask for help
In order to communicate effectively, humans developed languages, signs and writing.
CLICK here for lesson two
What is intercultural communication?
Intercultural communication refers to an academic field of study and research about how people from different countries and cultures behave, communicate and perceive the world around them.
Intercultural communication also includes other fields such as anthropology, cultural studies, psychology and communication.
Intercultural communication can also be defined as the interpersonal interaction between members of different groups, which differ from each other in respect of the knowledge shared by their members and in respect of their linguistic forms of symbolic behaviour.
The theories developed by the researchers and academics can and have been applied to many fields such as business, management, marketing, advertising and website design.
As business becomes more and more international, many companies need to know how best to structure their companies manage staff and communicate with customers. Intercultural communication gives them an insight into the areas they need to address or understand.
Intercultural communication theories are now also used within the education, health care and other public services due to growing multicultural populations.
WHY DO WE COMMUNICATE? WHAT HAPPENS IF WE DON'T COMMUNICATE?
Research has shown that when people are isolated and made to grow without contact with others, they will not develop to their fullest potentials. People who are isolated have capabilities less than those who are raised within the confines of civilization.
People who don’t communicate or interact with others will not be wise, rather they become stunted by the experience rather than enhanced by it.
People have always needed to communicate with each other for many reasons:
to spread news
to warn of dangers
to pass on information
to ask for help
In order to communicate effectively, humans developed languages, signs and writing.
CLICK here for lesson two
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Why Some People Engage In More Eye Contact Than Others
Why Some People Engage In More Eye Contact Than Others
Eye contact is one of the primal ways of communicating. It serves a crucial role in mother-child bonding. In fact, research conducted in the 1940s showed that the image of two eyes is the minimal visual stimulus infants need to elicit a smile.
We also know that eye contact increases adults' brain activity and heart rates.
However, before we go any further, let's distinguish between gazing and making eye contact. Gazing refers to looking at different points on the person's face besides the eyes; we might be distracted by a mole on the right cheek or caught by the peculiar way he/she turns up their mouth. Eye contact denotes looking into the other person's eyes.
Patricia Webbink, a psychologist who has studied the eyes and their place in human communication for more than two decades, defines eye contact as, "The mutual interaction that occurs when two pairs of eyes meet." It plays a powerful role in interpersonal bonding, she explains. "In a world characterized by mechanization, threats of violence, and social alienation, the need for increased interaction between people is apparent.
The power of eye contact is very real: the mutual gaze is a major form of communication that promotes intimacy." In fact, many people who are deaf insist on eye contact in interactions; they depend heavily on the emotions expressed in the eyes to supplement the vocal intonations they miss in the conversation.
Although we may crave eye contact with others, it is a rule of nonverbal communication that no one maintains it exclusively or continuously. We sustain eye contact approximately 60 percent of the time during interactions. That means most normal everyday interactions are a combination of gazing and eye contact.
In the course of a thirty-second interaction, research tracking the eyes has shown that people will gaze at fifteen different spots on or near the face, including the unusual design on the frame of a friend's glasses, tan ear popping out of her hair, her nonverbal affect, the peculiar way she moves her lips along with her eyes. We can predict you will engage in more eye contact if:
1. You are discussing easy, impersonal topics.
2. There is nothing else to look at.
3. You like or love your partner.
4. You are interested in your partner's reactions; you're interpersonally involved.
5. You are trying to dominate or influence your partner.
6. You are from a culture that emphasizes visual contact in interaction.
7. You are an extrovert.
8. You have high affiliation needs or inclusion needs.
9. You are listening rather than talking.
10. You are a male and are more physically distant from your partner.
Eye contact is one of the primal ways of communicating. It serves a crucial role in mother-child bonding. In fact, research conducted in the 1940s showed that the image of two eyes is the minimal visual stimulus infants need to elicit a smile.
We also know that eye contact increases adults' brain activity and heart rates.
However, before we go any further, let's distinguish between gazing and making eye contact. Gazing refers to looking at different points on the person's face besides the eyes; we might be distracted by a mole on the right cheek or caught by the peculiar way he/she turns up their mouth. Eye contact denotes looking into the other person's eyes.
Patricia Webbink, a psychologist who has studied the eyes and their place in human communication for more than two decades, defines eye contact as, "The mutual interaction that occurs when two pairs of eyes meet." It plays a powerful role in interpersonal bonding, she explains. "In a world characterized by mechanization, threats of violence, and social alienation, the need for increased interaction between people is apparent.
The power of eye contact is very real: the mutual gaze is a major form of communication that promotes intimacy." In fact, many people who are deaf insist on eye contact in interactions; they depend heavily on the emotions expressed in the eyes to supplement the vocal intonations they miss in the conversation.
Although we may crave eye contact with others, it is a rule of nonverbal communication that no one maintains it exclusively or continuously. We sustain eye contact approximately 60 percent of the time during interactions. That means most normal everyday interactions are a combination of gazing and eye contact.
In the course of a thirty-second interaction, research tracking the eyes has shown that people will gaze at fifteen different spots on or near the face, including the unusual design on the frame of a friend's glasses, tan ear popping out of her hair, her nonverbal affect, the peculiar way she moves her lips along with her eyes. We can predict you will engage in more eye contact if:
1. You are discussing easy, impersonal topics.
2. There is nothing else to look at.
3. You like or love your partner.
4. You are interested in your partner's reactions; you're interpersonally involved.
5. You are trying to dominate or influence your partner.
6. You are from a culture that emphasizes visual contact in interaction.
7. You are an extrovert.
8. You have high affiliation needs or inclusion needs.
9. You are listening rather than talking.
10. You are a male and are more physically distant from your partner.
Key Points To Successful Public Speaking
Key Points To Successful Public Speaking
In public speaking, you must remember that in verbal communication there are no second chances for the audience to catch your remarks. Keep your talk simple and easy to understand. Effective speeches contain no more than three central points. Four points is an absolute maximum. More will confuse the audience and waste their time - and yours.
Arrange the main points of your talk into a pattern, such as: Time order, Space order, Classification order, Cause and Effect order, and Problem and Solution order. Each of your main points should be supported by interesting and relevant material, such as illustrations, comparisons and contrasts, specific instances, facts and figures, etc.
Develop each main point in such a way that the audience will accept it. If they are predisposed to acceptance, your goal is simply to be vivid, impressive and dynamic. The audience doesn't need to be hit over the head with arguments. They are already impressed. They already agree with you.
If the audience is doubtful, be informative. The doubtful audience is looking for information, not memories and quotations. Give them what they're looking for. If the audience is indifferent, use facts. Be compelling and conciliatory. Appeal to their basic wants and needs. Appeal to their open-mindedness and fair play.
Do not be argumentative. If the audience is indifferent, impel them by motivation. Show why your idea is important. Make the issue vital to the listener's needs. Give specific comparisons and illustrations.
The conclusion of your speech is used as a review. Highlight the key points you want your audience to remember. The listener should leave feeling interested, informed, stimulated, persuaded or convinced after listening to you talk. Your audience should feel rewarded for listening to you. Ask them to act or react to your ideas.
A message without a specific request is a wasted opportunity. Move them to action. Call for a specific decision within a specific time frame. A courteous "thank you" is a poor way to end a speech.
While it is still certain that the status, position and occupation of your listeners influences the slant of your remarks, don't talk down to your audience. Don't talk up either. It won't gain you favor.
Flattery is transparent. No matter who the person is or what she does, it is far better to talk with her. This is especially true when you want to gain influence. Take into consideration the varying backgrounds of your audience. Whether it is one person or 1000, the same basic principles and strategies of the message apply.
Don't memorize your speech. If you do not memorize it perfectly, you will stumble, or worse, forget. Even if it is well memorized, you have to recall each word as it comes. This preoccupation makes your words sound rehearsed, cold and lifeless instead of spontaneous, warm and earnest.
Rehearse your speech. You will give the speech standing up. Therefore, rehearse standing up. Rehearse your posture. Rehearse your actions. If possible rehearse in a room the same size as the room you will speak in.
After you have given several speeches, you will learn how many rehearsals you need for a successful speech.
Successful speaking is a skill just like walking or riding a bicycle. It takes time. training and practice.
In public speaking, you must remember that in verbal communication there are no second chances for the audience to catch your remarks. Keep your talk simple and easy to understand. Effective speeches contain no more than three central points. Four points is an absolute maximum. More will confuse the audience and waste their time - and yours.
Arrange the main points of your talk into a pattern, such as: Time order, Space order, Classification order, Cause and Effect order, and Problem and Solution order. Each of your main points should be supported by interesting and relevant material, such as illustrations, comparisons and contrasts, specific instances, facts and figures, etc.
Develop each main point in such a way that the audience will accept it. If they are predisposed to acceptance, your goal is simply to be vivid, impressive and dynamic. The audience doesn't need to be hit over the head with arguments. They are already impressed. They already agree with you.
If the audience is doubtful, be informative. The doubtful audience is looking for information, not memories and quotations. Give them what they're looking for. If the audience is indifferent, use facts. Be compelling and conciliatory. Appeal to their basic wants and needs. Appeal to their open-mindedness and fair play.
Do not be argumentative. If the audience is indifferent, impel them by motivation. Show why your idea is important. Make the issue vital to the listener's needs. Give specific comparisons and illustrations.
The conclusion of your speech is used as a review. Highlight the key points you want your audience to remember. The listener should leave feeling interested, informed, stimulated, persuaded or convinced after listening to you talk. Your audience should feel rewarded for listening to you. Ask them to act or react to your ideas.
A message without a specific request is a wasted opportunity. Move them to action. Call for a specific decision within a specific time frame. A courteous "thank you" is a poor way to end a speech.
While it is still certain that the status, position and occupation of your listeners influences the slant of your remarks, don't talk down to your audience. Don't talk up either. It won't gain you favor.
Flattery is transparent. No matter who the person is or what she does, it is far better to talk with her. This is especially true when you want to gain influence. Take into consideration the varying backgrounds of your audience. Whether it is one person or 1000, the same basic principles and strategies of the message apply.
Don't memorize your speech. If you do not memorize it perfectly, you will stumble, or worse, forget. Even if it is well memorized, you have to recall each word as it comes. This preoccupation makes your words sound rehearsed, cold and lifeless instead of spontaneous, warm and earnest.
Rehearse your speech. You will give the speech standing up. Therefore, rehearse standing up. Rehearse your posture. Rehearse your actions. If possible rehearse in a room the same size as the room you will speak in.
After you have given several speeches, you will learn how many rehearsals you need for a successful speech.
Successful speaking is a skill just like walking or riding a bicycle. It takes time. training and practice.
Improving Communication Between Men And Women
Improving Communication Between Men And Women
When young boys swear and use tough language, their behavior is often tolerated as normal for their age. We assume that they are trying to act big. Grown men spice up their vocabulary with occasional profanity and it is mostly acceptable.
On the other hand, female actions are expected to be more restrained than their male counterparts. This directly affects the communication skills of both females and males. At work, we often find ourselves at cross purposes.
But, whether male/female differences stem from genetic makeup, influence from parents, or cultural conditioning by society, the fact is that we are different. We act differently.
We speak differently. Men often assume a direct, forceful manner of communicating, while women typically acquire a quieter, more tentative, questioning approach.
The result of these differing uses of language often leads to misunderstandings. The only way that we can begin to close the communication gap is by accepting and validating these male and female differences.
The first step toward a better communication is to accept our differences. Different doesn't mean wrong. Men tend to define themselves through their achievements. They like to handle things on their own. So at work, if a woman suggests to a man that he could use some help, he may think she believes he is incapable or, worse, incompetent.
Women define who they are mostly through the connectedness of their relationships and through feelings. Reverse the above situation, and the woman would not as likely take offense at the suggestion. Much of our business communication is based upon the interpretation of the male and female listener. Words are only as useful as the way they are heard and understood.
The second step is to learn the rules of communication. We have rules for just about everything we do. When we engage in sports, we play by the rules; when we drive, we follow the rules of safe driving, when we play games, we play according to the rules. Learn the rules that men follow when they communicate. Seek to understand the rules women also unconsciously follow for successful communication.
For communication between men and women to be effective, we must recognize the differences between male and female communication styles.
Men and women, at home or in the workplace, whether speaking or listening, use communication methods designed to meet their primary communication needs.
Men need to feel accepted, to feel admired, to feel appreciated, to feel approved of, and to feel trusted. On the other hand, women need to feel validated, to feel respected, to feel understood, to feel reassured, and to feel cared about.
When young boys swear and use tough language, their behavior is often tolerated as normal for their age. We assume that they are trying to act big. Grown men spice up their vocabulary with occasional profanity and it is mostly acceptable.
On the other hand, female actions are expected to be more restrained than their male counterparts. This directly affects the communication skills of both females and males. At work, we often find ourselves at cross purposes.
But, whether male/female differences stem from genetic makeup, influence from parents, or cultural conditioning by society, the fact is that we are different. We act differently.
We speak differently. Men often assume a direct, forceful manner of communicating, while women typically acquire a quieter, more tentative, questioning approach.
The result of these differing uses of language often leads to misunderstandings. The only way that we can begin to close the communication gap is by accepting and validating these male and female differences.
The first step toward a better communication is to accept our differences. Different doesn't mean wrong. Men tend to define themselves through their achievements. They like to handle things on their own. So at work, if a woman suggests to a man that he could use some help, he may think she believes he is incapable or, worse, incompetent.
Women define who they are mostly through the connectedness of their relationships and through feelings. Reverse the above situation, and the woman would not as likely take offense at the suggestion. Much of our business communication is based upon the interpretation of the male and female listener. Words are only as useful as the way they are heard and understood.
The second step is to learn the rules of communication. We have rules for just about everything we do. When we engage in sports, we play by the rules; when we drive, we follow the rules of safe driving, when we play games, we play according to the rules. Learn the rules that men follow when they communicate. Seek to understand the rules women also unconsciously follow for successful communication.
For communication between men and women to be effective, we must recognize the differences between male and female communication styles.
Men and women, at home or in the workplace, whether speaking or listening, use communication methods designed to meet their primary communication needs.
Men need to feel accepted, to feel admired, to feel appreciated, to feel approved of, and to feel trusted. On the other hand, women need to feel validated, to feel respected, to feel understood, to feel reassured, and to feel cared about.
How To Say "I'm Sorry"
How To Say "I'm Sorry"
The proper way to apologize is to state that you regret a specific offense. Offer to make amends or, if amends seem definitely called for, announce your intention of making amends as well as indicate how you will do this. If you're not sure how best to deal with the situation, describe several possible solutions and ask which the person prefers.
Assure the person that this will not happen again. In a business context, if it concerns a problem you were unaware of, thank the writer or caller for bringing it to your attention and finish the letter by asking for continued patronage. Do not be overly dramatic by using phrases such as ("You will probably never want to see me again after what I did," "I wish I were dead after the way I behaved last week," or "I am so, so, so sorry.").
When apologizing through writing, keep your letter free of guilt-inspired soul searchings and agonizing; it is uncomfortable and unappealing for the reader. State your apology clearly and briefly. Reread your apology to make sure you are not inadvertently implying that the other person is at fault; some people's "apology" sounds more like an accusation.
Especially in a business context, it is better not to write at all than to imply the customer is at fault. With a little ingenuity, it is possible to express regret about a situation without accepting responsibility for it if it's not your fault.
Don't blame clerical errors on computers ("A computer error/mishap was responsible for the delay in payments."). Most people are irritated by this excuse. In the same way, avoid saying that these things are bound to happen from time to time. Although this may be true, saying so indicates that the company policy may be more inclined to shrugs than vigorous action.
Avoid a grudging attitude; if you are going to apologize, do so cheerfully and wholeheartedly. Do not acknowledge that the company was negligent. If negligence is a factor, consult with your attorney, who will suggest the best approach to take in your letter.
4 Tips on writing a letter of apology:
1. Write as soon as possible after the incident. Be brief, straightforward, and sincere. Admit the fault straight away, apologize, and sign off. Remember to apologize only for the specific issue.
2. Avoid trying to justify or defend the error or behavior, although in some cases, an explanation could accompany your apology. At other times, however, an explanation may weaken or invalidate your apology. This is especially true when you try to explain why you were rude. In certain cases, a brief and sincere apology (maybe with flowers) is better than any explanation.
3. When apologizing for a business problem, the goal is to right the wrong (or the perceived wrong) while turning a dissatisfied customer into one who will continue to deal happily with you. Most customers will respect an honest, generous, and tactful response.
4.Mentally put yourself in the other person's place to determine the type of apology or other actions that would be appropriate if your positions were reversed.
The proper way to apologize is to state that you regret a specific offense. Offer to make amends or, if amends seem definitely called for, announce your intention of making amends as well as indicate how you will do this. If you're not sure how best to deal with the situation, describe several possible solutions and ask which the person prefers.
Assure the person that this will not happen again. In a business context, if it concerns a problem you were unaware of, thank the writer or caller for bringing it to your attention and finish the letter by asking for continued patronage. Do not be overly dramatic by using phrases such as ("You will probably never want to see me again after what I did," "I wish I were dead after the way I behaved last week," or "I am so, so, so sorry.").
When apologizing through writing, keep your letter free of guilt-inspired soul searchings and agonizing; it is uncomfortable and unappealing for the reader. State your apology clearly and briefly. Reread your apology to make sure you are not inadvertently implying that the other person is at fault; some people's "apology" sounds more like an accusation.
Especially in a business context, it is better not to write at all than to imply the customer is at fault. With a little ingenuity, it is possible to express regret about a situation without accepting responsibility for it if it's not your fault.
Don't blame clerical errors on computers ("A computer error/mishap was responsible for the delay in payments."). Most people are irritated by this excuse. In the same way, avoid saying that these things are bound to happen from time to time. Although this may be true, saying so indicates that the company policy may be more inclined to shrugs than vigorous action.
Avoid a grudging attitude; if you are going to apologize, do so cheerfully and wholeheartedly. Do not acknowledge that the company was negligent. If negligence is a factor, consult with your attorney, who will suggest the best approach to take in your letter.
4 Tips on writing a letter of apology:
1. Write as soon as possible after the incident. Be brief, straightforward, and sincere. Admit the fault straight away, apologize, and sign off. Remember to apologize only for the specific issue.
2. Avoid trying to justify or defend the error or behavior, although in some cases, an explanation could accompany your apology. At other times, however, an explanation may weaken or invalidate your apology. This is especially true when you try to explain why you were rude. In certain cases, a brief and sincere apology (maybe with flowers) is better than any explanation.
3. When apologizing for a business problem, the goal is to right the wrong (or the perceived wrong) while turning a dissatisfied customer into one who will continue to deal happily with you. Most customers will respect an honest, generous, and tactful response.
4.Mentally put yourself in the other person's place to determine the type of apology or other actions that would be appropriate if your positions were reversed.
Expectations That Affect Good Communications
Expectations That Affect Good Communications
When you communicate with another person, your interaction is governed by your particular mindset at the time. Your mindset filters the information you receive and often can prevent you from communicating and listening actively and objectively.
Your immediate mindset filters everything through your current concerns, including your expectations, present personal relationships or something as simple as what has happened right before the conversation.
Your long-term mindset filters everything through your personal background, your values, your past experiences and even your earliest childhood memories. Your immediate filters are those that change depending on current situations. They may be influenced by your long-term filters, but for the most part these are factors that immediately concern you.
Have you ever left a meeting upset because it failed to live up to your expectations? Or have you ever gone into a meeting fully expecting to hear your boss say one thing but told you something that is totally different? The expectations that you carry into a communication situation can impede your ability to actively listen to what a speaker is saying.
These expectations may be about the topic. For example, you expect the presenter at a meeting to take a particular stand on a topic or reach a certain conclusion. When he starts to talk, you assume you know what is going to be said and listen selectively to support your expectations. You do not listen objectively to what he is saying.
Your expectations also may be about the speaker. Part of these expectations may be based on your previous experience with the speaker. "Oh, he's always boring," is an example of expectations you may have. But you also have roles that you expect people to fall into because of their status. These expectations can stifle communication. When someone doesn't act the way you expect him to, your expectations will filter what you hear him saying.
Your expectations also may relate to a particular situation. You may have caught yourself saying, "I wish I didn't have to go to that boring meeting." When you catch yourself saying something like this, you are expressing your negative expectations for the situation. If you go into the situation, expectations in full swing, they will create a self-fulfilling prophesy. Regardless of the reality of the situation, the meeting will be boring, and you will only "hear" the meaningless small talk.
There is a way for you to control your expectations. Before your next meeting or conversation, make a list of what you expect out of the topic, the situation or the speaker. This list represents the barriers that prevent you from actively listening and being able to communicate effectively.
Test your reactions prior to the meeting or conversation and anticipate your reactions to particular ideas or situations. Try to predict a full range of responses. Ask yourself, "If he says this, how will I respond?" This is useful in situations when you have had some difficulty in communicating or when you anticipate hearing information that will make you uncomfortable.
When you communicate with another person, your interaction is governed by your particular mindset at the time. Your mindset filters the information you receive and often can prevent you from communicating and listening actively and objectively.
Your immediate mindset filters everything through your current concerns, including your expectations, present personal relationships or something as simple as what has happened right before the conversation.
Your long-term mindset filters everything through your personal background, your values, your past experiences and even your earliest childhood memories. Your immediate filters are those that change depending on current situations. They may be influenced by your long-term filters, but for the most part these are factors that immediately concern you.
Have you ever left a meeting upset because it failed to live up to your expectations? Or have you ever gone into a meeting fully expecting to hear your boss say one thing but told you something that is totally different? The expectations that you carry into a communication situation can impede your ability to actively listen to what a speaker is saying.
These expectations may be about the topic. For example, you expect the presenter at a meeting to take a particular stand on a topic or reach a certain conclusion. When he starts to talk, you assume you know what is going to be said and listen selectively to support your expectations. You do not listen objectively to what he is saying.
Your expectations also may be about the speaker. Part of these expectations may be based on your previous experience with the speaker. "Oh, he's always boring," is an example of expectations you may have. But you also have roles that you expect people to fall into because of their status. These expectations can stifle communication. When someone doesn't act the way you expect him to, your expectations will filter what you hear him saying.
Your expectations also may relate to a particular situation. You may have caught yourself saying, "I wish I didn't have to go to that boring meeting." When you catch yourself saying something like this, you are expressing your negative expectations for the situation. If you go into the situation, expectations in full swing, they will create a self-fulfilling prophesy. Regardless of the reality of the situation, the meeting will be boring, and you will only "hear" the meaningless small talk.
There is a way for you to control your expectations. Before your next meeting or conversation, make a list of what you expect out of the topic, the situation or the speaker. This list represents the barriers that prevent you from actively listening and being able to communicate effectively.
Test your reactions prior to the meeting or conversation and anticipate your reactions to particular ideas or situations. Try to predict a full range of responses. Ask yourself, "If he says this, how will I respond?" This is useful in situations when you have had some difficulty in communicating or when you anticipate hearing information that will make you uncomfortable.
How Do You Deal With Conflict?
How Do You Deal With Conflict?
A good communicator knows how to deal with conflict. His goal is not to do away with conflict but to handle it in such a way that it brings about growth and constructive solutions. We all have our own ways of dealing with conflict, our own styles of handling difficult situations. How do you manage conflict to minimize risks and maximize benefits? How can you handle conflict in a way that increases your growth potential? The following lists are different ways we deal with conflict in a small group:
The Avoider: Some people strive for neutrality because they are uncomfortable with anger in any form. Sometimes their avoidance creates conflict or makes a heated situation worse. Avoidance can be of benefit to you if you are not part of the problem or part of the solution. It is not always your responsibility to "fix" every conflict that arises in your home or workplace.
The Accommodator: The Accommodator tries to make everyone happy. This person's objective is superficial harmony, not necessarily an equitable resolution of the conflict. Accommodation is preferred when the issues are minor or when the relationship would be irreparably damaged because tempers are too hot. Here the solution is only temporary.
The Compromiser: The Compromiser offers a solution which, at first glance, appears to resolve conflict. However, both sides are left unsatisfied because both give up something they
wanted. Compromise works best when time is short and both parties benefit. But it's a less than perfect situation because everyone loses something.
The Competitor: For the Competitor, conflict is a game. Power gets this person's attention. The competitive approach is best when all parties recognize the power relationship between themselves and know that action is imperative. Like the others, this is merely a temporary answer. This conflict returns, perhaps in a more powerful form.
The Negotiator: This person seeks consensus and works tirelessly to get it. Negotiation works best when all parties have problem-solving skills. Negotiators work to find methods satisfactory to both parties while keeping goals and values intact. This is the best remedy for communication breakdown.
The first goal in resolving conflict is to deal constructively with the emotions involved. Keep in mind that you should treat the other person with respect, listen until you "experience the other side," and to state your views, needs and feelings. Though talking may trigger conflict, it is also the only means of resolving it.
Talking must focus on defining the problem by saying, "I hear..." looking for agreement by saying, "I agree ..."; understanding feelings "I understand ..."; and stating views calmly. "I think..." Some people plunge head first into conflict without determining if their timing is right to resolve the situation. Some forget to set the terms for the confrontations. Others jump into a conflict without knowing if the other person consents to the terms.
Using the method described above encourages the genuine and direct expression of feelings by one person at a time. When feelings are expressed, heard and acknowledged, they are transient. When they are not expressed, heard or acknowledged, they fester. This approach can rapidly defuse emotions so differences can be discussed more productively.
A good communicator knows how to deal with conflict. His goal is not to do away with conflict but to handle it in such a way that it brings about growth and constructive solutions. We all have our own ways of dealing with conflict, our own styles of handling difficult situations. How do you manage conflict to minimize risks and maximize benefits? How can you handle conflict in a way that increases your growth potential? The following lists are different ways we deal with conflict in a small group:
The Avoider: Some people strive for neutrality because they are uncomfortable with anger in any form. Sometimes their avoidance creates conflict or makes a heated situation worse. Avoidance can be of benefit to you if you are not part of the problem or part of the solution. It is not always your responsibility to "fix" every conflict that arises in your home or workplace.
The Accommodator: The Accommodator tries to make everyone happy. This person's objective is superficial harmony, not necessarily an equitable resolution of the conflict. Accommodation is preferred when the issues are minor or when the relationship would be irreparably damaged because tempers are too hot. Here the solution is only temporary.
The Compromiser: The Compromiser offers a solution which, at first glance, appears to resolve conflict. However, both sides are left unsatisfied because both give up something they
wanted. Compromise works best when time is short and both parties benefit. But it's a less than perfect situation because everyone loses something.
The Competitor: For the Competitor, conflict is a game. Power gets this person's attention. The competitive approach is best when all parties recognize the power relationship between themselves and know that action is imperative. Like the others, this is merely a temporary answer. This conflict returns, perhaps in a more powerful form.
The Negotiator: This person seeks consensus and works tirelessly to get it. Negotiation works best when all parties have problem-solving skills. Negotiators work to find methods satisfactory to both parties while keeping goals and values intact. This is the best remedy for communication breakdown.
The first goal in resolving conflict is to deal constructively with the emotions involved. Keep in mind that you should treat the other person with respect, listen until you "experience the other side," and to state your views, needs and feelings. Though talking may trigger conflict, it is also the only means of resolving it.
Talking must focus on defining the problem by saying, "I hear..." looking for agreement by saying, "I agree ..."; understanding feelings "I understand ..."; and stating views calmly. "I think..." Some people plunge head first into conflict without determining if their timing is right to resolve the situation. Some forget to set the terms for the confrontations. Others jump into a conflict without knowing if the other person consents to the terms.
Using the method described above encourages the genuine and direct expression of feelings by one person at a time. When feelings are expressed, heard and acknowledged, they are transient. When they are not expressed, heard or acknowledged, they fester. This approach can rapidly defuse emotions so differences can be discussed more productively.
Learn How To Talk To Your Kids About Failure
Learn How To Talk To Your Kids About Failure
When your teens talk about their failures and mistakes in everyday activities, listen for a tendency to blame others or to give up too quickly. If your children aren't doing well in school, do they blame the teacher or say, "What's the use"? If their school project turns out awful, do they blame the materials or give up in anger?
If they lose the game, do they blame their teammates or decide they're just no good? If your kids are reacting like this, they may believe that failing at one or two things makes them a total failure.
Perfectionists, especially, feel that their self-worth depends on external factors, such as being successful at everything do. These teens need to learn about the positive side of failure.
Find Opportunities To Talk
Mistakes are a positive part of everyone's daily life, so it's not difficult to find opportunities to talk about this subject with your child. When your teen brings home a school paper with a mistake, for example, don't focus on the grade alone; talk about the error. "Making mistakes is one of the ways we learn things.
So let's see what you can learn from this mistake." Then help your child find me correct answer. If your child tries to put together a project and it falls apart it's finished, encourage him or her to use this event constructively. Ask, "Why do you think it fell apart?" "What can you do differently the next time?" "Let's see you give it another try."
Talk About Your Own Failures
You can encourage your kids to risk failure by talking about your own experience with risk taking and by admitting your mistakes and failures. You might talk to kids about the time you ran for class president and lost, or tried out for a team and didn't make it, or tried to build a model airplane by yourself but found that you needed help. These admissions give teen permission to fail also.
Help Your Children Practice Failure
Everyone needs accept that no one can be the best at everything, that no one can win all the time, and that it's possible to enjoy a game even when you don't win. In short, it's human to fail and make mistakes, this imperfection does not diminish our self-worth or reduce our chances of succeeding in the future.
One way to teach this lesson is to arrange situations in which you occasionally let your teens fail. If you play card or board games, for example, don't always let your kids win. If you play tennis or basketball, don't consistently give them the advantage. Let them experience the disappointment of losing in a protected environment.
Then encourage them to try again. It's these little lessons that give our children the confidence and perseverance they'll need to master difficult tasks and pursue challenging goals in their lives.
When your teens talk about their failures and mistakes in everyday activities, listen for a tendency to blame others or to give up too quickly. If your children aren't doing well in school, do they blame the teacher or say, "What's the use"? If their school project turns out awful, do they blame the materials or give up in anger?
If they lose the game, do they blame their teammates or decide they're just no good? If your kids are reacting like this, they may believe that failing at one or two things makes them a total failure.
Perfectionists, especially, feel that their self-worth depends on external factors, such as being successful at everything do. These teens need to learn about the positive side of failure.
Find Opportunities To Talk
Mistakes are a positive part of everyone's daily life, so it's not difficult to find opportunities to talk about this subject with your child. When your teen brings home a school paper with a mistake, for example, don't focus on the grade alone; talk about the error. "Making mistakes is one of the ways we learn things.
So let's see what you can learn from this mistake." Then help your child find me correct answer. If your child tries to put together a project and it falls apart it's finished, encourage him or her to use this event constructively. Ask, "Why do you think it fell apart?" "What can you do differently the next time?" "Let's see you give it another try."
Talk About Your Own Failures
You can encourage your kids to risk failure by talking about your own experience with risk taking and by admitting your mistakes and failures. You might talk to kids about the time you ran for class president and lost, or tried out for a team and didn't make it, or tried to build a model airplane by yourself but found that you needed help. These admissions give teen permission to fail also.
Help Your Children Practice Failure
Everyone needs accept that no one can be the best at everything, that no one can win all the time, and that it's possible to enjoy a game even when you don't win. In short, it's human to fail and make mistakes, this imperfection does not diminish our self-worth or reduce our chances of succeeding in the future.
One way to teach this lesson is to arrange situations in which you occasionally let your teens fail. If you play card or board games, for example, don't always let your kids win. If you play tennis or basketball, don't consistently give them the advantage. Let them experience the disappointment of losing in a protected environment.
Then encourage them to try again. It's these little lessons that give our children the confidence and perseverance they'll need to master difficult tasks and pursue challenging goals in their lives.
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